


The Human Requirement to Breathe

by philsdrill



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Barista Phil Lester, Café, Christmas, Coffee Shop, Dan Howell - Freeform, Daniel Howell - Freeform, Famous Dan Howell, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Oneshot, Panic Attack, Panic Attacks, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, Phan Smut, Phandom - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Smut, actor!dan, coffee shop AU, phanfluff, phansmut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philsdrill/pseuds/philsdrill
Summary: It’s a difficult life for Dan. Being famous and recognisable isn’t easy when you’re walking through a crowd of people… especially when you’re claustrophobic. Phil runs a coffee shop and an unusual customer ends up meaning more to him than he ever expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you happen to have read this before, I posted this in July 2016 on tumblr. Also if anyone's interested in following me on tumblr - I'm more active on there and there's more fics - you can find me at [philsdrill](https://philsdrill.tumblr.com).

**Dan’s POV:**

It’s a difficult life. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t chosen the career that I did. I couldn’t even go out to buy food, looking like myself anyway.

I pulled my scarf around me a little tighter and continued to push through the crowd. I wished I hadn’t chosen to come out today. There were so many others out doing their Christmas shopping, that the risk of me being recognised had increased tenfold.

I hated crowds. They were terrifying places for people like myself. If I didn’t have my hat, scarf and glasses, I would bet ninety percent of the crowd could put a name to my face.

I had just broken out of a particularly busy patch when a strong blast of freezing cold air hit me. My hat was lifted from my head and went flying through the air into the crowd behind me. There was no way I could get it back.

Now this wouldn’t have been a problem, if one of my biggest acting roles had been playing a character in glasses. I bet I looked incredibly like him, and that was not what I was going for. People would start to notice.

Barely seconds after that though had hit me, I heard a voice through the crowd, “Is that Dan Howell?”

Fuck.

People started to turn around and I could feel far too many sets of eyes on me. Mutters turned to excited squeals and slow footsteps turned into faster ones, pounding towards me.

I froze. It shouldn’t have been my natural reaction but it was. I needed to get away, but the sudden shock and panic rendered me immobile.

All I could do was stay in the one spot, feeling the panic rising in my throat as the people got ever closer. This was it; I was going to die. There was no way I could survive this.

People started to enclose on my from both ends of the street. They were shouting at me but I couldn’t hear them. All I could hear was my own heart pounding in my chest, the blood rushing in my ears.

I couldn’t breathe. I needed to breathe. I couldn’t pass out, not here. My brain needed the oxygen. I forced myself to take a breath. Relief passed through my chest for a fraction of a second, before the feeling returned.

I inhaled again… and again. I knew it was too fast but I needed the air. Once I got going I couldn’t stop. I was pretty sure I was hyperventilating.

The sudden burst of oxygen to my brain gave me a small capacity to think. How could I get out of here? Suddenly I realised that I was pretty near the edge of the street and the crowd was thinner there. I had to push through it. I had to get out.

As I took my first step, I felt someone tugging on my scarf. I quickly turned around to let it unravel. In that moment, I couldn’t care less.

I took another step and this time I could actually move freely. Panicked breaths rushed through my throat, but I was getting closer, closer to the side of the road.

As I pushed past the second last person, I could see the door of a coffee shop directly ahead of me. I was going in there. I didn’t care what the staff or the customers thought. I just needed to be alone and that seemed the closest I would get.

I pocketed my fake glasses - they were no use now - and walked into the shop. Fortunately it wasn’t too busy. There was the odd person in a winter coat huddled round a coffee cup here and there, but it was mostly empty. Everyone was obviously too busy getting their last minute Christmas shopping done.

I made a beeline for a seat at the back of the shop. It was one of the sofa seats that made up part of a booth and it seemed like the best place to hide and cry for a bit.

I could feel strange glances from the staff, probably annoyed at me for not ordering anything. I heard them muttering amongst themselves, but surprisingly they didn’t say anything.

I curled up on the seat of the booth and cried as quietly as I could, praying that not too many of the people from the outside would actually follow me in. I couldn’t face them, not now. I really needed to be somewhere they couldn’t get to me but that wasn’t really an option.

I let the tears flow, my panicked breaths still chipping away at my energy. I felt physically exhausted from just breathing. My sobs might’ve been getting louder, but I was too out of it to either notice or care.

—–

**Phil’s POV:**

I was wiping down the counter when I was distracted by a bit of a commotion outside. I couldn’t quite see through our fogged up windows what exactly was going on, but the crowd looked vicious. I wouldn’t like to be out in it.

A good minute had passed by, with the crowd getting louder and louder, before a man burst through the door. He was around my own age, possibly slightly younger and had brown hair and a pair of glasses he shoved in his pocket as he entered.

He looked slightly familiar; I couldn’t quite place whether he was a semi-regular customer, or just someone I knew a long time ago. I’d guess I’d see when he came up to order coffee.

What surprised me was this man did not come up to order coffee. He walked purposefully towards the back of the shop and into a booth. It was only as he was doing this that I noticed there was something off about him.

He looked terrified, and had wet streaks on his cheeks. I couldn’t be sure it was him, but I could hear some heavy breathing from somewhere in the shop. Instead of sitting down in the booth, the man curled himself up in a ball on the seat.

That was it, I needed to do something. The man was clearly upset or panicking about something or other. I was going to see if I could do anything to help him.

“Carrie,” I said, turning to my colleague, who had been watching his entrance with similar interest, “I’m going to talk to him.”

“You sure that’s a good idea, Phil?” she asked me, looking worriedly over at his curled up figure.

“I don’t know,” I told her honestly, “But if there’s anything I can do for him, I’m going to.”

Hearing his sobbing sounds from across the cafe, I grabbed a few napkins on my way. It sounded like he’d need something to wipe his eyes or blow his nose on.

I approached him carefully, but not quietly, not wanting to startle him with my arrival.

“Sir…” I started, addressing him formally like I would a customer, then hesitating because I felt he would appreciate some familiarity, “Buddy…”

The man didn’t even acknowledge me, not looking up from his hands and the depths of the seat. I decided I was going to take a risk and touch him. He was clearly not in the emotional state to be in a cafe and if I could get his attention, I could take him to the staff break room.

I decided his upper arm would be the least risky location, in terms of invading his personal boundaries. I placed my hand down on his arm. He flinched slightly, and then lifted his head and looked at me.

“Leave me… need to be alone,” he choked out, his eyes red and his nose very clearly running.

“I figured that,” I told him, “Would you like to go through the back with me? Just to the staff break room; there’ll not be anyone there.”

“W-would that be okay?” he said shakily, looking up at me with a hopeful expression.

“Yeah, c’mon,” I said, offering him a hand up.

The man accepted my offer of a hand and pushed himself up from the seat from the other. His hand was both shaking and clammy, but in that moment, I wasn’t too bothered.

Once he was on his feet, I moved my hand to his back and led him through the door marked ‘staff only’. We walked the length of a short corridor and then we were in the break room, where I was glad to see there wasn’t anyone on their break.

I encouraged him to sit down on the bench and passed him a couple of napkins for his running nose. He took them and did as I intended, giving his nose a couple of lengthy blows. I waited until he was finished until I tried to talk to him.

I sat down next to him on the bench, making sure to leave some room between us.

“Firstly, can you tell me your name?” I asked him, “I’m Phil.”

“You don’t know?” he said, looking at his feet, “Dan.”

“I mean, you look familiar,” I told him, “Don’t tell me we used to be friends or something?”

“No, I’m an actor,” he said, his breath still panicky and struggling not to cry.

“Okay,” I nodded, now understanding why he looked familiar, “I’ve probably seen something with you in it, but that’s not important right now. Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“I… people crowded me… I can’t do crowds… really fucking claustrophobic,” he spluttered, hiding his face in his hands and crying a lot more.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’ve got loads of space now,” I reminded him.

“I know… I just… panicky…” he choked.

I tentatively placed my hand on his shoulder, “Dan, can you look at me?”

Dan lifted his head from his hands and looked up at me, his lower lip seeming to tremble in terror.

“I don’t bite,” I told him, only realising once I’d said it that this was a truly inappropriate time to joke, “Sorry… umm… do you think you could try and breath with me? Like copy what I’m doing.”

I started to exaggerate my breathing slightly, telling Dan when I was breathing in and when I was breathing out. I didn’t know if it would help; I didn’t have much experience with panic attacks but it was the only thing I could think of.

Slowly, very slowly, I started to notice a difference in Dan’s breathing. It eventually got to the stage where he was no longer struggling quite so much to keep it slow and he looked more relaxed.

“You feeling a little better?” I asked him calmly.

“Mostly yeah,” Dan said, his voice sounding more level, “Thank you.”

“It’s okay,” I said, standing up from the bench, “I’ll be right back; I’m just going to get you some water.”

“You don’t have to,” Dan attempted to call after me, but it was too late, I wouldn’t listen to him.

I hurried to the kitchen, where I filled a glass with water. I briefly stopped to say a few words to Carrie, who had popped in from the front counter to get some more milk.

“He’s pretty much okay now. He’s claustrophobic and panicked in the crowd,” I explained to her, “Thanks for doing all the serving. Things haven’t been too hectic, have they?”

“Nah, it’s all fine. We’re not really any busier than before,” she said, turning back towards the door into the shop, “You look after him; I don’t think we’re going to get much busier before closing time.”

I grabbed another couple of napkins too and hurried back to Dan. He was still taking deep focused breaths, but he seemed a lot more okay. I handed him the water and laid the napkins on his knee. I sat back down next to him, this time a little closer than before.

I didn’t interfere as he sorted himself out: drying his eyes, blowing his nose and slowly sipping his way through the glass of water. The only remaining symptom of his anxiety was a very slight trembling that still resounded through his body.

Dan laid the now empty glass to the side and looked at me timidly, “Can… can I have a hug?”

“Sure,” I said, turning around slightly and bringing my arms around him.

I let the hug linger for a few seconds more than might’ve been considered normal. I knew he needed it and for some reason I also felt like I had to protect him. It was nice, he smelled nice and he was pleasantly soft to hug.

I pulled away after what felt like an appropriate amount of time and looked Dan in the eye, “Are you okay now?”

“Pretty much,” he said, “Like I’m still going to be a bit shaky for a while but it’s nothing I can’t deal with. My only worry is going back outside because I don’t feel I can face that crowd again.”

“If you want…” I started, “You could stay. We’re closing in ten minutes anyway. We’re finishing early as it’s our last day before Christmas. Like come and have a hot chocolate or something?”

“Is that okay?” Dan asked, then suddenly sounded panicked, “Wait, are there loads of people out there?”

“Carrie, my colleague, says it’s not any busier than before,” I told him, “And of course it’s okay.”

“Alright then,” he said, “And thank you so much for helping me.”

“It’s no problem,” I told him, giving him an approachable smile.

Dan and I got up and I led him back through to the cafe. I got one or two looks bringing him out the staff door, but it wasn’t a problem. I found him a seat, in a booth, facing away from the street just to be on the safe side, and let him sit down.

“What would you like?” I asked him, “Tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate? Or there’s juice if you prefer?”

“Hot chocolate would be great,” he said, “Caffeine sometimes makes me more jittery.”

“Sure,” I said, making a mental note about the caffeine, “Cream and marshmallows?”

“Yeah,” he said, a childish smile playing at the corners of his mouth, “Thanks.”

“Would you like a cake?” I asked him, “There’s muffins, rocky road, carrot cake, cookies, banana bread, millionaire shortbread…”

“You choose,” Dan said, “They all sound good.”

“Okay,” I said, turning to walk towards the counter, thinking about what cake to give him.

Carrie was making someone a takeaway coffee so I passed her on the way to the hot chocolate machine.

“Is he okay?” she asked me, quietly so as to keep our conversation from the ears of our customers.

“Yeah, I think so,” I told her, “I’m just getting him a hot chocolate and I’m going to sit with him for a bit. Sorry for abandoning you.”

“It’s fine,” she laughed, “Honestly.”

We turned our focus back to making the hot drinks. I made extra sure to get the right quantities of everything in Dan’s hot chocolate. Sometimes the machine made mistakes, but I wouldn’t let it get away with it today.

I took the hot chocolate and went to pick out a cake. In the end I picked him a muffin. They were my personal favourite and were one of our most popular cakes. I smiled at Dan as he looked up when he saw me coming.

“How much is it?” Dan asked, a wallet in his hands as I laid the things down on the table.

“It’s on the house,” I told him, gently pushing his hands back towards him.

I sat down opposite him and looked at him, “You’re not paying.”

“Alright,” he semi gave in, “But won’t the manager care?”

“He doesn’t,” I told Dan, my tone slightly mischievous.

“How do you know? Did you ask him or something?” he asked, confused.

“Yeah,” I told him.

“But you only spoke to…” he gestured at Carrie.

“Carrie, yeah I know. I didn’t need to speak to him,” I said laughing, “I run the place. Well me and Carrie, but it’s under my name.”

“Wow, you run a café!?” he said, shocked.

“Wow, you’re in films!?” I said, mocking his tone, “Yeah.”

“I wish I wasn’t,” Dan mumbled quietly.

“Why?” I asked him, “Do you not enjoy acting? It sounds amazing.”

“I love acting,” he said, “It’s just being well-known that I hate. I can’t go anywhere looking like myself without being recognised and if I do get recognised people surround me… and before you ask, I am not getting a body guard.”

“Yeah, I guess that would be annoying,” I said, now thinking about it, “I’m not sure I’d like it either.”

“I don’t usually go out,” Dan said, “Anxiety’s too bad. I stay in my little flat and play video games. Only reason I’m out today is I needed to buy a Christmas present for my brother. Then the wind blew my hat off and someone recognised me.”

“Awww,” I said, feeling sorry for him, “That sounds horrible.”

“It is,” he said miserably, “But staying in all day playing video games isn’t too bad to be honest.”

“I agree with you on that one,” I told him, “That’s basically me when I’m not here. Me and Carrie usually split the week looking after our other staff so I have three days off each week.”

It was fairly easy for Dan and I to slip into a casual conversation about what games we liked to play. As it happened, we had quite a number in common, and I could really start to feel myself becoming friends with this guy.

“Do you want to come round to mine for a game of mario kart sometime?” I asked him suddenly, forgetting for a moment that this was a famous actor I was talking to, one who probably wasn’t interesting in a game or mario kart with a coffee shop owner.

“I’d love that actually,” he said smiling, “When are you free?”

“Ummm… Tonight? If you want?” I suggested, genuinely surprised and honoured that he wanted to, “Otherwise it’ll have to wait ‘til the new year because I’m going to be at my parents house.”

“That would be great,” he said, “I’d be gaming alone otherwise.”

“Same,” I said, “It’s on then. Have you not got anyone special in your life to spend your time with?”

“Nope, everyone wants me for my fame and money or whatever,” he explained, sounding a little down about it.

“Aww that sucks, who would do that?” I asked, slightly surprised. I didn’t know people actually liked to exploit the famous like that. Loving the person for who they are should be what it’s about.

“A lot of people, it seems,” he told me, “How about you? You got anyone special?”

“Nope,” I said, “Broke up with my ex-boyfriend like a year ago. He was a nasty piece of work, that cheater.”

“Someone actually did that to you, Phil? But you’re so sweet?” Dan gasped, shocked, “I couldn’t do that to anyone; I would feel so bad.”

“Haha, yeah he did. I’m over it now. I was just plucking up the courage to dump him anyway so it wasn’t the biggest deal,” I explained, “And you’re a good person; there are too many cheaters in the world.”

It got to closing time and Carrie started tidying up, cleaning the tables and putting the chairs up on them. The remaining few customers realised we were shutting up and started gathering their bags and going. Once they had left, I got up to help with the clearing up.

I swept the floor of the café, and was able to talk to both Dan and Carrie at the same time. In the end Carrie volunteered to do the finishing touches and lock up, letting Dan and I get away a little earlier. We made a stop in the break room where I grabbed my jacket.

“My place is a ten minute walk away,” I told him, “Do you have a car you need to get?”

“No, I got a taxi,” he said, looking slightly worried at the thought of walking.

“D’you want to get a taxi?” I suggested, “Or you can borrow this jacket; it has a hood.”

“Could I?” he said, looking at mem gratefully, “I’m really not in the mood to get spotted again.”

I handed Dan my jacket and he removed his, passing it to me, “Here, you wear mine; it’s cold.”

“Thanks,” I thanked him, hesitantly putting my arms through the sleeves of the leather jacket; it looked and felt expensive.

I took him out the back door with me, seeing that the street was still busy. I took a slightly longer route to my flat to try and avoid the busier places. I walked close to Dan, not wanting to get separated from him when we did go through other groups of people.

We got to my flat and I quickly opened up the outside door, gently pushing Dan ahead of me into the warmth. I headed towards the lift and Dan followed, but then hesitated by the doors.

“What floor are you? Could we maybe take the stairs?” he asked, looking at the lift like it were going to eat him.

“The sixth,” I told him, “And yeah the stairs are fine.”

“I’m glad you’re not on the twentieth,” Dan said, as we started towards the stairs, “I hate lifts.”

As we stepped off the stairs, onto my floor, I had a sudden thought that my flat was probably really untidy. It wasn’t that I didn’t look after it, I just had a lot of stuff that I could never find a place for.

“Sorry it’s a bit untidy,” I apologised to Dan, “Haven’t really had anyone round recently.”

“It’s alright,” Dan said, eyes taking in my home, “This is tidy compared to mine.”

“I don’t believe you,” I said, unbelievingly.

“I’ll prove it to you sometime soon,” he said, “Well likely I’d try and tidy beforehand but that never goes very well.”

Ditching our outdoor clothes at the door, we immediately headed to the sofa to get our mario kart tournament set up. It seemed only natural for us to flop down next to each other on the sofa, even though we’d only met a couple of hours before. We chose our tracks, chose our characters, chose our karts and got racing.

Over the couple of hours, I learnt that Dan was pretty much my perfect match at mario kart. We had stopped for a pizza, but other than that, we’d just been playing and chatting the whole evening. We seemed to pretty much take it in turns to win, and at the current moment, we had three tournaments each.

Dan laid his controller down on the coffee table and stretched his fingers, giving them relief from the intense gaming. I could probably do to do the same.

“Phil,” Dan spoke suddenly, sounding like he was about to bring up something other than the game in front of us.

“Yeah?” I encouraged him; he didn’t sound overly confident and I wondered if he was going to tell me something personal.

“I don’t know why I want to tell you this because I’ve only just met you and I’ve never told anyone else… but I trust you,” Dan said, stopping to take a deep breath, “I’m gay.”

The instant he said that, I felt inclined to give him a hug. I laid my remote down next to his and wrapped my arms around him in a loose embrace.

“Congrats,” I mumbled to him, “On coming out… that takes a lot of courage.”

Dan let out a little sniff and I could see moisture welling in the corners of his eyes.

“It’s okay,” I told him, “I know it’s a lot but you don’t need to cry.”

Dan sniffed again, wiped his eyes with his sleeve and put on a brave face. I continued to hold him fairly close, muttering words of congratulations and consolation. I could remember being a bit teary eyed myself after coming out, and this is what I would’ve wanted and needed.

In my close proximity to Dan, I could feel was the warm gaze of his brown eyes as well as his warmth in my arms. I felt so comfortable, so at home, and knew that deep down I wanted more with him. I knew it was unlikely as we’d only just met, but I wondered if there was a possibility that he felt it too.

I could feel Dan’s face getting closer to mine, too close. I’d only have to lean forward a little to kiss him and potentially ruin forever the friendship we’d only just started to build. His left hand gently landed on my jaw and I shivered as all the hairs on my neck stood on end. Was he going to?

“Phil… can I?” Dan whispered, his words blowing across my lips.

“Please,” I replied, surprised, letting my eyelids flutter shut.

The first I felt of Dan’s lips was them gently brushing across mine. They were barely even there, but then came back, pressing into mine with a gentle pressure like none I’d ever felt before. Dan’s lips were full and warm, slightly rough on the surface from the cold, but the texture just added to the perfection. I was dying inside as they moved against mine, his tongue lightly running along my bottom lip.

I moved one of my hands from Dan’s back to the back of his head, holding his head almost like he held mine, and making the whole thing a little more stable. My other hand felt the way he relaxed as I kissed back, the way his body moved towards mine, the opposing force of two magnets bringing us together.

Eventually we were forced apart, not by any physical force, but purely by the human requirement to breathe. There was a stunned silence for a few seconds, as Dan and I looked into each other’s eyes. I was speechless.

“Wow,” Dan whispered, bringing his head to rest on my shoulder.

I didn’t know what to say in response, but with the thought of actions being stronger than words, once Dan was ready, I initiated another kiss.

This time I took more of a leading role, allowing my teeth to graze over Dan’s lips and seeking entrance with my tongue. The whole thing was a lot more sensual and the whine Dan emitted as I made it a little more rough had me wanting him with all of my body.

My hand ghosted around the hem of his shirt, and soon enough my hands were running up the smooth expanse of his back. Dan reciprocated, his hands trailing up my back also. He didn’t know how good he felt, what his hands were doing to me.

My hands left Dan’s shirt and moved towards the top button of his shirt. I started to undo it slowly, giving him time to protest if he didn’t want this. He seemed fine with it, so I moved down onto the next button. Dan suddenly batted my hand away and pulled back from me.

“I’m sorry Phil,” he said, his voice a lot lower than earlier, “I’d love to go further, but I can’t today. Panic attacks really take it out of you; I don’t have the energy.”

“Sorry,” I apologised, putting my arms around him in an innocent hug, “I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay,” Dan said, “You wouldn’t have known. I just had to stop you before you got even more into it.”

“Cuddle?” I asked him, encouraging to come closer and relax.

“Thanks,” Dan said, letting himself melt into my arms.

“When you’re home from your parents… in January… I want to take you out on a date,” Dan told me, “And if you want you can come round to my place afterwards.”

“That would be amazing,” I said, already excited about his suggestion.

“How about we swap numbers so I can contact you about it?” Dan asked, “And well, so we can talk over Christmas if you want.”

“I’d love that,” I told him, lifting my phone from the table and passing it to him.

Dan put his number into my phone, while I put mine into his. I put my name as Phil, with a coffee emoji next to it, wanting to be different from the rest of Dan’s contacts, who were just names.

I handed Dan’s phone back to him and he laughed, “Really Phil? A coffee emoji? You’ve ruined my minimalist style contacts.”

I gave him a mischievous smile, but was pleased to see he didn’t change it. He locked his phone and put it back on the coffee table next to mine, letting out a yawn in the process.

“You want to stay over?” I suggested, watching as he yawned again, “You sound exhausted.”

Dan nodded tiredly, “If that’s okay… thank you.”

“It’s alright,” I said, “If I didn’t live here, I’d want to stay too. It’s too late to go out.”

I leant Dan a pair of pyjamas, found him a new toothbrush and we got ready for bed. It might’ve been a bit weird for him to be wearing my pyjamas, but I didn’t quite think we were at the seeing each other in underwear stage yet.

We’d just got under the covers of my bed when Dan’s phone started blaring loudly from the bedside table. He picked it up and looked at it, an expression of fury immediately building in his eyebrows.

“Who is it?” I asked him, “Is it important?”

“It’s my manager,” Dan said, “He’ll be angry if I don’t pick up.”

Dan swiped to answer it, jumped out of bed and gave me an apologetic look on his way out the room. I knew it was nosy, but I listened in to see if I could figure out what they were talking about.

“Refilm? Which part?” I heard Dan ask.

He was silent for a few seconds and then responded again, “When?”

“6am tomorrow? I can’t do that.”

“I have a personal life? You can’t just phone me at half eleven the night before… I’m not at home. I’m tempted to resign and I have a good mind to do so once this film is finished. You can’t fucking control my life. I didn’t know what I was in for when I signed your contract five years ago.”

“Boxing Day? For fucks sake, do I not even get to spend three days with my family over Christmas? Fine.”

I heard the thunk of Dan laying his phone down on the coffee table, followed by an exasperated sigh.

“Dan?” I called out, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he said, his footsteps now trailing back towards the bedroom, “I’m sorry you heard all that.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through that,” I told him as he walked into the room, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, just fucking pissed at him, that’s all,” Dan grumbled, “And I’m giving up acting as soon as this film is finished… I’ve had enough.”

“But you love acting?” I questioned him.

“Yeah, but I hate all the stuff that comes with it,” he reminded me, “Not to sound like an egoistic millionaire, but I probably have enough to live the rest of my life comfortably playing video games.”

I could see that Dan still had clenched fists, his nails looking like they were digging uncomfortably into his hands. I didn’t want him having to feel angry.

“Dan,” I said, sitting more upright, and patting the space next to me, “Come here?”

Dan reluctantly wandered towards the bed and sat down next to me. I took one of his hands and encouraged his fingers out of the fist shape, then intertwined his fingers with mine. I repeated the same with the other hand.

“Try and relax, okay?” I said, “I understand why you got all worked up, but you won’t sleep if you’re this tense.”

Dan turned round a little and rested his head on my chest, face hiding in the folds of my t-shirt. I let him lay there, while I played with his fingers - they were so pretty - just like the rest of him.

I was brought back to reality by noticing my shirt was getting a bit damp. I didn’t say anything, but moved my hands from Dan’s to hugging him.

Eventually, he lifted his head from my chest onto the pillow next to me and wiped his eyes.

“Sorry,” he said, voice a bit rough, “Your shirt’s a bit damp.”

“It’s okay,” I said, adjusting the hug for his new position, “As long as you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, “I just had a few angry tears to let out, that’s all. I’m actually feeling pretty good, like I’m happy I’m going to quit. Also, today’s been the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.”

“Me too,” I told him, “I’m glad I met you, even if it wasn’t under the best circumstances.”

“Same,” Dan said smiling.

“I was wondering if you’d like the official title of boyfriend?” I asked him, “It’s not too soon, is it?”

“I’d love that,” Dan said cheerily, “And no, it’s not too soon.”

I met Dan in the middle with a kiss, and then we got into a comfortable position for sleeping. I turned off the lamp and said my last words of the day to Dan.

“Goodnight boyfriend.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting under unusual circumstances in Phil’s coffee shop, Dan and Phil finally get to go on their first official date, after spending Christmas apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you happen to have read this before, I posted this in August 2016 on tumblr. Also if anyone's interested in following me on tumblr - I'm more active on there and there's more fics - you can find me at [philsdrill](https://philsdrill.tumblr.com).

**Phil’s POV:**

Throughout my stay at my parents house, Dan and I spent a lot of time texting. I made sure to still pay lots of attention to my family, but Dan was something new in my life and talking to him was exciting.

One evening, Dan had texted me his plans for our date to check they suited me. Not being a terribly busy person, I had the date free and readily took him up on the offer.

He would pick me up in a car at seven and we’d head to a restaurant for dinner. I was to wear smart clothes for the establishment and bring an overnight bag to go back to Dan’s afterwards.

First checking I wasn’t busy with my family, Dan asked if he could call me. He had said in a text that there was something he needed to talk to me about, and preferably in spoken words.

–

“Hey Dan,” I greeted him, “What do you need to talk to me about? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered, “Umm, you know how you’re coming over after our date and the last time I kind of suggested we might go further…”

“Do you not want to?” I asked, “That’s absolutely fine; I don’t mind.”

“No, no, I _do_ want to,” he said, “It’s just… fuck this is embarrassing… I’m a virgin.”

“That’s completely okay,” I told him, “Everyone has a first time. Would you be comfortable talking to me about it? I’ll try and ease any of your worries.”

“Uhhh, yeah that would be good,” he said, “If that’s okay?”

“It’s definitely okay,” I confirmed, “I want it to be as easy for you as it can be.”

“Okay, firstly,” I said, lowering my voice further so my family definitely wouldn’t overhear, “Do you know if you want to top or bottom?”

“I don’t know… I like the idea of bottoming, but I’m scared… I’ve heard its painful,” Dan admitted.

“It’s not painful if you do it right,” I told him, “Yes, there might be slight discomfort at first, but with lots of preparation you’ll be fine.”

“Sorry to sound stupid, but like what do I need to do to prepare… and how do I know if I’m doing it right?” Dan asked nervously, “Like yeah, I’ve masturbated, but only like a hand job.”

“Please don’t worry about it, we’ll do it together - I’ll bring everything we need,” I told him, “But if you do decide to give fingering yourself a shot, then lots of lube and lots of patience, okay.”

–

I kept that conversation in mind as I packed my overnight bag. As well as pyjamas, clean clothes and a toothbrush, I also packed condoms and lube. Dan might very well have purchased some himself, but the more the merrier.

I had asked Dan’s advice on what to wear to this fancy restaurant and his reply had been, “Not a suit, but a smart shirt and a tie if u want.”

In the end I went with a pair of the smart trousers I wore for work and a long sleeved dark blue patterned shirt that I thought looked best without a tie. I put on the smarter of my two coats over the top, because I didn’t want to freeze and the weather was still very wintery.

Dan texted me when his car pulled up outside my flat. I grabbed my overnight bag, and hurried out the door, willing the lift to go faster on its way down. Dan was standing at the door of the car, and opened it for me as I approached.

“Thank you,” I thanked him, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek as he got in next to me, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he said, joining his hand with mine, “And I could’ve had my chauffeur do that, but I wanted to do it myself like a proper gentleman.”

“This is nice,” I told him, “Thank you; that might’ve felt a bit fancy for me.”

“I know what you mean,” Dan admitted, “I feel fucking ridiculous half the times when I have a chauffeur do the door for me. Like the car’s nice, but I could do without him opening my door.”

Around fifteen minutes later, we drew up outside the restaurant. It wasn’t a place I knew, but then it looked way too fancy for my budget. Dan got out first and opened the door for me, and took my hand as we headed towards the restaurant.

“Thanks Barry,” he had called out to his driver; it seemed they were on first name terms.

“So is that guy like your personal chauffeur?” I asked Dan, interested in the celebrity side of his life.

“Pretty much,” he said, “He works for a company so sometimes I get one of their other drivers, but I ask for Barry if he’s available. He’s really nice and doesn’t insist on doing the door if I don’t want him to. Though I get a normal taxi anywhere I’m trying not to be recognised.”

“Ahh, that’s cool,” I said, “You’re not worried about getting recognised here?”

“Well people will know me, but they’re in a high enough social class themselves that they’re not going to make a big deal about it. Like I might get a passing nod, or a ‘Hello, Mr Howell,” but not people running excitedly towards me,” Dan explained.

We entered the restaurant, Dan gave them his name and we were very promptly guided to a table. The waiter pulled out the chairs for us, took our jackets to the coat hooks and handed us our menus. As soon as the waiter had left us in peace, Dan batted my hand to catch my attention.

“I just thought I should say, in the off chance I need to get out of here, that’s a back door,” Dan said, pointing to a door a few feet away from the table, “I may have specifically asked for this table; I just feel more comfortable knowing I can get out quickly if I need to.”

“Okay, that’s cool,” I said, taking his hand in mine for a second, “Thanks for telling me. Let’s hope you don’t need to use it.”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded.

We got on with reading through the menu, and when the waiter came, we ordered our food. It turned out to be incredibly fancy but also incredibly nice.

Everything about the restaurant was good: the food, the service, the background music, the decoration. I hated to think what the meal would cost. I was going to struggle to find somewhere I could outdo him.

By the end of our meal I was feeling pleasantly full and happy. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the evening with Dan, no matter what we spent it doing.

As we left the restaurant and walked back outside, I felt something cold and wet hit my face. A snowflake! My inner child squealed excitedly, but my adult exterior reacted just with a smile. I slipped my hand around Dan’s shoulders and looked up to the sky.

“Look, it’s snowing,” I said excitedly to Dan, no longer being able to resist expressing my excitement.

“Nice,” Dan said, joining me in looking up to the sky, “It’s always so pretty when it snows at night.”

Dan turned into me, as if to give me a hug, but then at the last second turned it into a kiss. It was the perfect end to our date, as we waited for Dan’s chauffeur to appear with the car. We only pulled apart when we heard a car drawing up next to us.

Dan flashed Barry a smile and opened the door of the backseat. We piled into the warmth of the car and Dan shut the door behind himself.

“Where to?” Barry asked from the front seat.

“My flat,” Dan stated, “And that’ll be all for the evening.”

Barry started the car and we set off through the falling snow. The flurries continued to get bigger and I started to realise that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be out in this. I hoped it wasn’t too far to Dan’s flat.

“How far is your flat?” I asked him, “This snow’s getting pretty bad.”

“It’s only like five minutes away now,” Dan told me, “Don’t worry, we’ll get there before it gets much worse.”

As soon as Dan said that, the car slowed down and I could see a trail of tail lights ahead of us. I guess that five minutes was going to be extended. I hoped it wouldn’t be too long.

“Traffic jam. Fuck,” Dan said, an edge of worry in his voice, angrily looking out at the cars.

“I think it’s just a queue,” I told him, reaching out to take his hand as he seemed a bit stressed about it, “Are you okay?”

Dan looked behind us, and to the side, then looked back at me, “Never been a fan of traffic jams… not gonna lie, I feel a bit panicky. Like we’re trapped.”

I undid my seatbelt and slid over onto the middle seat, next to Dan.

“Is this okay?” I asked as I put my arm around him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “You don’t make me feel trapped.”

“That’s good,” I said, soothingly rubbing his arm, “You’re going to be okay.”

“I know… it’s just my body doesn’t want to believe it,” Dan explained, his voice a little unsteady.

I leant over Dan and opened the window a crack, to let in some fresh air, but not too much snow. As I leant back, I heard some engines rumble to a start in the distance.

“That sounds like some cars are moving,” I told Dan, feeling him relax slightly as I spoke.

Soon enough, our car was one of the cars whose engine started and began to creep forwards. I decided to stay in the middle, put my seatbelt on and kept my arm around Dan. Eventually, we were out of the small traffic jam and driving along at a more normal pace. Dan let out a sigh of relief and rested his head on my shoulder.

“Okay now?” I asked him softly.

“Yeah, thanks Phil,” he mumbled, taking a couple of deep breaths, a hint of a smile beginning to return to his face.

By the time we got to his flat, Dan was as happy as he’d been before we hit the traffic jam. I was glad that it wasn’t any worse, otherwise that would’ve put a big downer on our night. We thanked Dan’s driver and hurried through the falling snow. By the time we got in the front door of the building we were both damp and shivering.

We hurried up the stairs to Dan’s flat, his promise of having the heating on being very tempting. As Dan unlocked the door, I could see his hands visibly shaking from the cold. Once inside, we shed our coats and put our wet shoes and socks under the radiator. Only then did I actually take in Dan’s flat.

“Sorry it’s kind of messy,” Dan apologised, “I was with my family and then away on the film shoot and I’ve barely been here.”

“It’s fine; It’s not any worse than mine,” I laughed.

“I guess we’re similarly untidy then,” Dan said with an amused expression.

Glancing around Dan’s flat, I decided that it looked pretty normal. At first I was slightly surprised he didn’t have a flat to reflect his money, but when I thought about it, I realised that this probably felt way more homely.

“I like your flat,” I told Dan, “It’s nice and cosy. I was kind of expecting it to be gigantic and fancy.”

“Thanks,” he said, rubbing his hands together to warm them up, “And yeah, I wanted to feel at home. Giant fancy flats are nice, and I’ve stayed in a fair few, but nothing beats a small cozy place. I do have a spare room, but really just so my parents can stay over.”

Having seen his failing attempts to get them warm, I moved closer to Dan and held his hands between mine, “You’re freezing.”

“I know,” he said, “I went with fashion over function… a bad decision. That jacket was not made for the cold.”

“How about you go find yourself a warm jumper?” I suggested, “Or make a hot chocolate?”

“I’ll go and get a jumper, thanks. I’ll be back in two minutes; take a seat,” he said, gesturing to the sofa.

I sat down on the sofa, and as you do when you’re in a new environment, continued to look around. Under Dan’s TV I could see a great stack of video games, many of which I recognised or had played myself. His coffee table was covered in a variety of items, among which I was shocked to find a shoebox.

Unable to risk the bad luck, I lifted the box onto the floor. It was just at that moment that Dan walked back into the room, now wearing an oversized jumper.

“It’s bad luck, putting your shoes on the table,” I explained with a humorous tone, “Maybe I’ll reduce the effect by having taken them off.”

“Really?” Dan said, “I’ve never heard of that one… but uhh thanks for saving me from the bad luck.”

As he spoke, I noticed that he was fiddling with the ends of his sleeves. It struck me that he looked particularly nervous and that it was probably a nervous habit. It was overwhelmingly cute but I knew I should probably ask him if there was something wrong.

“Umm… Phil,” he said, sitting down next to me, “I was wondering if we could…”

Dan hesitated so I took the opportunity to give him an encouraging smile, “Yeah?”

“Umm… could we talk about ummhavingsex,” he spluttered, his face going a bit red over the last three words.

“Of course,” I said, putting an arm around him, “But you don’t need to be embarrassed about it; just relax and feel free to ask as many questions as you need.”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, a bit of the pinkness fading from his face.

“Let me go and get my bag,” I said to him, thinking I should have it handy in case I wanted to show him the lube or something.

I grabbed my bag from next to Dan’s front door and quickly returned to him. In my brief absence he had spread a blanket across his lap, and lifted a corner to invite me under too. I joined Dan under the blanket, which was pleasantly warm.

“Okay, do you just want me to go through like the general process?” I asked him.

Dan nodded, ducking his head as his cheeks flushed slightly.

“Alright, well you know how I mentioned fingering; have you tried that?” I asked him.

“Not properly,” he said, “I’ve had one finger in; I honestly haven’t had a lot of time.”

“That’s good, that’s a start,” I told him, “We start with that, then slowly build it up to three fingers. I should be able to get your prostate too, which will feel amazing. Then when you’re ready, I’ve brought my dick.”

Dan nodded, his cheeks still quite red.

“And if you’re not ready, I can give you a handjob or a blowjob if that’s less nerve-wracking,” I told him.

“No, I want to,” Dan said firmly, “I’m just a bit nervous, that’s natural right?”

“Completely,” I replied, “I was scared when I bottomed for the first time; it’s okay, I know how you feel.”

“Okay, that’s good to know,” Dan said, looking a little bit more relaxed.

“You go any questions?” I asked him.

“Ummm… “ Dan started hesitantly, turning a deeper shade of red, “I didn’t really want to ask this, but I couldn’t find the answer online… I’m not going to like shit on you or something?”

“No; don’t worry,” I said positively, with a light-hearted chuckle, “It’s not that likely and there’s nothing long with a little residue if you’re worried about that too. As long as you’ve been to the bathroom today, it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I’ve done that,” he mumbled.

“You’re all set then,” I exclaimed cheerily, trying to be positive to help his nerves.

“Yayy,” Dan said happily, “And thanks; I feel a lot better about it now.”

I invited Dan into my arms for a hug, to which he responded by shuffling closer to me and relaxing into my arms. It wasn’t long before our close proximity took us further: lips louching in bursts of passion, tendrils of lust pulling Dan into my lap and the need for friction causing us to grind into each other.

I was straining against the tight fabric of my trousers and I could feel Dan was in a similar predicament. If this wasn’t his first time, I might have felt inclined to continue things on the sofa, but I made the responsible decision to pull away and suggest we took things in the direction of his bedroom.

I grabbed my bag from next to the sofa, where I’d put it when I was explaining things and we headed to Dan’s bedroom. That was where he was out of his depth in terms of experience and things fell into my hands.

In a way, Dan losing his virginity was a big thing for both of us. Yes it was nerve-wracking for him, but it was my responsibility to make the experience as good as I could for him.

My hands ran their way up the smooth plain of his back; my fingertips ghosted the soft nubs of his nipples, gently flicking, teasing. Our shirts flew across the room in a frenzy of cotton and polyester and landed somewhere we would only discover in the morning.

My lips explored the area of his stomach, following the treasure trail down to his waistband. I paused for a second, checking it was okay with him for me to undo his trousers. Dan nodded eagerly, nerves seemingly having dissipated in the excitement. Slowly, I pulled them down and off of his body. Once, they were gone, his hands didn’t take long in finding their way to my waistband.

I let Dan remove my trousers, biting my lip as he rubbed his hand over my hard dick through my boxers. Dan quickly became a moaning mess when I did the same to him; I guess he didn’t have the same level of self control which came with experience.

Our boxers came off in a similar manner, and I could feel Dan’s eyes raking over me as mine checked out him.

“Holy fuck Phil, you’re giant,” Dan exclaimed, his eyes wide in shock.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I said, thinking how his dick was probably perfect to suck off; long enough to be more than satisfying, but not too long that I would struggle to get it in my mouth.

“Thanks,” he laughed, “But how is that meant to fit…?”

“Dan,” I said, “Trust me, it will fit fine. I’m not _that_ big; I’ve taken bigger.”

“Seriously?” Dan asked, “You’re the biggest I’ve seen… well I guess I haven’t seen that many.”

“Yeah,” I said, placing a hand on his thigh, “You’ll be fine.”

I moved my hand to the inside of Dan’s thigh and slowly ran it upwards. I wrapped my hand around his dick and gave it some much needed attention. I brought my hand back down to his thighs and gently encouraged him to move them apart.

“Hold on,” I said to Dan, moving away to get the lube out of my bag. I should’ve been prepared and gotten it out earlier, but I was a bit out of practice at doing this.

I took a condom out of my bag too, and placed it out of the way, but still where I could reach when we were ready. I took the lube and sat down between Dan’s legs, facing towards him.

“Do I need to turn over or something?” Dan asked, while I coated a couple of fingers with lube.

“No, you’re good like this,” I told him, “I’d like to be able to see your face.”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, spreading his legs a little further apart.

I took some more lube and spread it around Dan’s entrance, now approaching with my first finger, “If at any point you need me to stop or hold off for a minute, please say, okay?”

Dan nodded, “Okay, you’re good to go.”

Taking as much care as I could, I slowly pushed that first finger into Dan. The expression on his face wasn’t exactly one of comfort, so once my finger was fully in I stopped to check he was okay. The second finger entered him with just as much care, and even more lube. Even with two fingers now inside him, I felt he was trying to push them out.

“You struggling to get used to that feeling?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he groaned, “It feels really weird.”

“Try your best to relax,” I suggested, keeping my fingers still inside him, “Breathe in… breathe out… and let yourself become one with the bed.”

I felt that with the words I’d used, Dan might not have taken me seriously, but he listened and took a couple of slow, deep breaths. With my other hand, I payed some further attention to his dick, hoping the small distraction would take his mind off how my fingers felt up his ass.

A couple of moans later, I could feel Dan was a fair bit more relaxed. I stopped stroking his length so he wouldn’t reach his orgasm too soon. I started to moved my fingers around inside him in an almost scissor-like action and was glad to see his body had accepted them.

I could see he was starting to enjoy the sensation so I made the decision to curl my fingers up to find his prostate. I knew I’d found it when Dan let out a loud moan and briefly clenched around my fingers.

“Fuck Phil… what was… oh my god that felt good,” Dan moaned.

“You’ve just met your prostate, babe,” I said teasingly.

Dan begged me for more, to do that again. I refused but told him that I would very soon - couldn’t have him cumming too early. I added the third finger, then sliding my fingers in and out of him a couple more times, I decided he was probably ready to take things a stage further. I pulled my fingers out completely, listening to Dan whining at the loss.

I gave my neglected length a few pumps, “You think you’re ready for this? We’ll take it as slow as you need.”

“I think so,” Dan said, still understandably a little nervous.

“Okay,” I nodded, grabbing the condom and rolling it down my length; I was a little worried that it would be too much for him, but I was trusting both my own judgement and him to speak up if he had to.

I lifted Dan’s legs up to rest on my shoulders to get the best angle, and lined myself up with his hole. Checking that Dan was _definitely_ ready and that my length was coated in enough lube, I began my ascent up his anus. I did it one inch at a time, stopping to let him adjust. Seeing as my fingers were the biggest thing he’d had up there before, it was quite a stretch.

I had to bite my lip to hold back moans as Dan was just perfectly tight and it felt _so_ good. When I was fully inside Dan, I stopped to let him get used to the feeling.

“Is this okay?” I mumbled, plastering his chest with kisses in the meantime.

“Yeah… just give me a minute,” Dan said, “I feel strangely full!? It’s kinda nice!?”

I remained stationary, even though it was killing me, until Dan gave me the go-ahead to move. My first two thrusts - if you could even call them that - were painstakingly slow. Eventually, Dan was stretched enough to get a rhythm going, and we picked up a little speed.

I would periodically change my angle to hit his prostate. It had him moaning my name every time. The sounds he made were to me, the hottest sounds I’d ever heard. After a while, I could feel myself getting closer to my approaching orgasm, the hot feeling of lust growing in my abdomen.

I put aside my earlier desire to blow him, as he was too close for that now. I’m sure we’d have the chance another day. I reached down and wrapped my hand around his dick, helping get him off so we’d hopefully reach our orgasms around the same time.

As it happened, Dan was closer than I’d thought, moaning louder with each thrust, bucking up into my hand at the same time.

“Fuck, Phil, ‘m gonna cum,” he blurted.

In the couple of seconds that followed, I put as much effort as I could into making him feel good. I aimed for his prostate a good few times in a row, and was now using his precum to ease my hand sliding up and down his length.

Then Dan came, the white streaks of pleasure spurting from his dick and onto my hand and his chest. The sight had me coming undone, thrusting into Dan a few last times as I rode out my own orgasm.

I pulled out of Dan and laid down beside him for a minute to catch my breath. Both Dan and I were breathing a bit like over-excited dogs. I laid my hand on his chest and silenced followed as the two of us slowed our breathing back to a normal rate.

“You stay there,” I encouraged Dan, “I’m going to bin the condom and get some loo roll to clean you up.”

I stood up from the bed, removed and tied the condom and headed to Dan’s ensuite bathroom. There, I wrapped the condom in some toilet roll and put it in the bin. Glancing around Dan’s bathroom, I spotted a washcloth slung over the door of the shower; that would be better than just toilet roll for cleaning up.

I ran the washcloth under some warm water, then wrung it out until it was no longer dripping. I took it and the toilet roll back through to the bedroom, where Dan was still laying on the bed.

“Hey,” I greeted him, sitting cross-legged on the bed, next to him, “How are you feeling? Was that good?”

“A little tired,” he said, “But that was honestly the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. We need to do it again sometime, but not just yet because I’m a little sore.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a few sheets of toilet roll and wiping up most of the cum on his chest, “Well I can promise you we’ll do it again. I’d like to take you out somewhere; how about we figure out a date tomorrow morning?”

“That would be good,” Dan said, yawning, “I’m a bit too tired to be figuring dates at the moment.”

“Same,” I said, now wiping his chest with the wet cloth so he wouldn’t be sticky.

“You have a very lubey asshole,” I told him, giving him a seconds warning before I gave that a clean too.

With the damp cloth, I wiped away most of the lube on the outside. He would still be a bit slippery further in but I suspected we’d get cleaned up properly tomorrow morning. I patted him dry with a little more toilet paper and then took the lot back to the bathroom, Dan thanking me as I went.

I returned from the bathroom in no time, and climbed into bed next to Dan, pulling the covers up over both of us. He immediately snuggled up to my side, muttering something about how English winters weren’t designed for sleeping naked.

“Are you cold?” I asked him, “Do you want me to find you some pjs or another blanket?”

“No, I’m okay,” he said, “I was cold, but you’re warm so it’s fine.”

“Aww,” I said, effectively acknowledging aloud how cute I found him.

I pulled Dan a little closer and made sure we were as comfortably entangled as we could be.

“You said you were a little sore… I should’ve asked… you don’t need a painkiller or something, do you?” I asked Dan, remembering his words as I’d been cleaning up.

“Nah, I’m good,” he said, “It’s just a small ache and a weird empty feeling… nothing painkiller worthy.”

“Okay, that’s good,” I said, “I’m glad I didn’t hurt you too much, I was trying my best. A bath tomorrow morning might help if you’re still feeling it?”

“That sounds good,” he said, “You did a great job of cleaning me up - thanks for that - but I could do with a bath or a shower. You can join me if you want?”

“That sounds nice,” I replied, really too tired to say anything more.

“Yeah,” Dan yawned.

“We should go to sleep,” I mumbled to him.

“Mmm,” Dan agreed, stretching out his arm to turn off his lamp.

“Goodnight,” Dan said, then a quietly added, “I love you.”

For a brief second I wondered if Dan had thought that, and been too sleepy to realise he’d said it out loud. I hoped he’d meant it. The only way I could describe how I felt about him, even over the short amount of time we’d known each other, was love.

“I love you too,” I told him, “And goodnight.”


End file.
